June is here! The month of my bird-day. My day of birding. That’s what we say in my family when we mean birthday. So, somewhere along the year I forgot my age. I thought I was turning one year older than what I really am. Once you reach a certain age, this starts to happen. You start losing count. Your age doesn’t matter, it just matters that you’re living and breathing and the older folks around you are still around to hug. But I do admit, it was kinda nice knowing I still have another year in this decade of my life that I didn’t know I had left.
I’m not afraid of aging; I’m just a bit apprehensive about what comes along with it. Apprehension, the beat-around-the-bush word for fear. Perhaps we can take some comfort in the realization that age is just a number. Any one of us could die in a sudden accident at any moment. No one is safe! So stop being afraid of aging and stop buying expensive creams; just try to stay alive! 😅
Anyway, being closer to retirement so I can paint more and do more of what I want is cool. But let’s be clear: this doesn’t mean I’m postponing my life until retirement. I’m living it now, in the present moment. As Eckhart Tolle would say, that’s the only thing that’s real. 🧘♂️
I find satisfaction in my day job, and often it serves as an anchor for me. While freedom from the 9-5 grind may seem like a dream come true, I recognize the importance of establishing a solid foundation to fall back on. This is what I’m currently working on.
However, I do have days when I want to do other things besides paint, and I often struggle to decide which one to prioritize. I’ve written about this indecisiveness before, and I believe it stems from the pressure to use my days off “wisely” before returning to work. For instance, today marks the first of my four days off. After completing my painting, I found myself in a state of limbo. I had invested so much effort and time into this artwork that it consumed my thoughts for the past week.
Now that my baby is complete, I’m left feeling somewhat adrift. So I was basically stuck doing nothing for a few hours trying to gather my bearings again. I’ve heard this feeling is not uncommon among creators. So what am I doing about it? I’m writing this blog post. Just checking in and letting you know what’s up with me. This helps me clear my mind. So thanks for listening, or rather reading. I say listening because my brain is talking to you. Can you hear it?
In case you haven’t noticed, I have a new page on my website called “Acrylic Paintings”. Soon I’ll be taking pictures of my acrylic paintings, including the one I finished today, and I’ll share them there. Capturing images that accurately represent the artwork’s appearance in person takes some time and the right lighting conditions, so I’m aiming to get it right this weekend.
Since I’ve been spending more time painting and taking online art classes, I haven’t gone skating as much as usual. I feel bad about that, although maybe I shouldn’t? I mean, it’s not like I can’t put my skates back on anytime and do it, right? Still, I feel like I haven’t been getting as much exercise as I used to. I try to walk at least 30 minutes a day, although lately, it’s been closer to 15 minutes.
In fact, while writing this blog post, I stopped at this part and went for a 30-minute walk. It was much needed since after I finished my painting, I was in a weird funk. I get this feeling of “now what?” You’re witnessing it through this blog post. I feel as though I’m obliged to jump into my next piece right away, even though there are other things I’ve neglected while in my art cave. I gave myself a hard time about it earlier this week. What was it? Oh yeah…washing my car. 🙄
So, late in the game of the adult world of owning cars, I learned that if you don’t wash the exterior of your car for a long time, the paint can deteriorate, and rust can develop. I just thought that if it looked clean on the outside and it rained a couple of times a year, that was enough. Now I have rust accumulating at the top of my car, and I hate it. It’s a reminder of my procrastination to handle adult stuff like washing my car and doing laundry. Stuff that is monotonous and never seems to end. I’ll be honest, I have thought of getting it washed many times, but this city is so crowded that you have to take a number to do anything that requires getting done.
The issue is, I don’t see any of these tasks as activities that nurture my gifts; however, this is precisely the mentality that gets me where I’m at in the first place—with a rusty car roof. What if it falls?! And car mechanical stuff? Thank God I know better than to postpone that *patting myself on the back*. The bottom line is that the perception of doing these things as tedious, redundant, and a waste of time is precisely what has made me not good at taking care of material things. So I thought it out carefully, and this makes me the perfect candidate for minimalism.
I didn’t realize it until now but I’m a minimalism at heart. I buy things for function rather than value. And in that, I can find the space to simplify my life. Unfortunately, I’m forced to own a car because of work and I love the ability to take off anywhere at any time. The independence of it. But up until now the way I handle material stuff is…I buy it, use it, and when it breaks I replace it. One thing I’m good at though, is taking care of my paint brushes. That I’m good at. 🖌️
Anyhow, I’m working on a plan to multitask what I love to do and hate to do at the same time so that what I hate to do becomes something I like to do. For example, I can listen to audiobooks while at the car wash and doing laundry. I guess. 🤷♂️
Anyhow, circling back to the car thing. The rust is really bothering me. I ordered some stuff online called Rustoleum (gotta love the name) and spent some time doing research. There was all this stuff about how you have to sand it with different types of sandpaper. I’m ignoring that part and just spraying the crap out of the roof. The rust isn’t too bad though, so I hope that when I spray it with this stuff it goes away forever. And I promise that from now on, I will get my car washed and waxed at least every two months. Funny thing is, I took it to get washed and waxed the very same week I noticed the rust, and it rained that very same day. It had not rained for weeks! Lucky me. 😏
Since my last blog post, a lot has happened. A close family member, which I won’t mention for their privacy, experienced a sudden medical emergency. This caused so much worry and concern. It was a wake-up call, reminding me of life’s fragility and how quickly our world can completely change. It doesn’t always take a catastrophic event; sometimes, a small occurrence can have profound implications. Whether it’s hearing something, seeing something, or making a single decision, our lives can pivot in an instant. It’s a sobering realization of our own vulnerability and the tendency to take things for granted. Despite our awareness, we often fall into a pattern of expecting things to remain constant. Perhaps it’s the comfort and happiness derived from familiarity that lulls us into complacency. Yet, in these moments of reflection, we’re reminded of the preciousness of every moment and the importance of cherishing what we hold dear.
I have high hopes that advancements in AI and Quantum Computing will lead to significant breakthroughs in disease treatment and preventive medicine. The potential excites me, although I can’t deny feeling a bit uneasy about the implications of AI. It’s troubling to see many creators, including those in the movie industry, lose their jobs or income due to AI’s influence. While I’m not opposed to AI itself, I believe there’s a danger when it’s used to exploit creators for profit, stripping away their purpose.
My shift from digital art to physical art was partly influenced by AI’s impact on the digital art market. Initially, selling my digital pieces on the blockchain was successful. However, as AI infiltrated the digital world, it led to an oversaturation of what’s termed “AI art.” Many of these images using real artists’ work to flood the market. This oversaturation devalued genuine digital art, which I find disheartening considering the effort put into these pieces.
Despite this, I continue to create digital art, often drawing inspiration for physical pieces from my digital creations. This blend of mediums brings me joy, allowing me to merge both worlds seamlessly. On that note, the digital artwork you see featured in this article was actually one of the first digital pieces I sold on the blockchain. I’ve chosen to share it on this first day of June, which marks the beginning of Pride month. 🌈
Pride Month is a time to honor and celebrate diversity, including that within the LGBTQ+ community. While I may not personally identify with any specific label, I feel compelled to join in the celebration and share my reflections on the beauty of diversity and the power of inclusivity.
In my digital painting “Nightfall,” I depict a mystical tree adorned with the colors of the rainbow. This tree, infused with the essence of diversity, symbolizes the interconnectedness of all beings and the beauty that arises from embracing our differences. Just as each hue contributes to the vibrancy of the rainbow, so too do our unique identities enrich our collective humanity. The tree of life portrayed in my artwork embodies the idea that true harmony and wisdom can only be achieved through embracing diversity and listening to the myriad voices that make up our shared human experience.
As I wrap up this reflection on the whirlwind of events and thoughts that have filled my May to June transition, one thing becomes clear – life is a delicate dance of moments, each one holding its own significance. From the simple joy of celebrating another year of life to the sudden jolt of reality brought on by a family member’s medical emergency, I’ve been reminded of the fragility and resilience that defines our existence.
Navigating through this maze of adulting, I find solace in the simplicity of creativity and the power of human connection. Whether it’s the thrill of completing a painting or the profound lessons I’ve learned from encountering diverse perspectives, each experience adds depth and meaning to my journey.
As Pride Month unfolds, let’s cherish each moment, embrace our differences, and strive to create a world where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. Thank you for joining me on this journey of self-discovery and reflection. Here’s to embracing life’s twists and turns with courage, resilience, and an open heart. ❤️
I leave you with this thought: Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said, “Life is a journey, not a destination”. But what if it’s both? What if life is a journey filled with many destinations? It’s a question worth pondering on. Until next time!
Yours truly,
The Dreaming Siren 🧜♀️
