- Narcissistic Personality Disorder – “You’re so narcissistic!”
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – “I’m super OCD with my grammar!”
- Multiple Personality Disorder – “I have multiple personalities, which is why I can’t decide on what I want to wear today!”
- ADD – “I can be so ADD with my schoolwork sometimes!”
- Bipolar – “I’m so bipolar today. One minute I’m hyper and the next I’m chill.”
Is it okay to sling these words around casually without an actual diagnosis? What’s your diagnonsense?
We sometimes use personality disorders or psychiatric conditions in conversation to describe a certain mood we’re in or to describe certain characteristics about ourselves or others that we’re frustrated with. Is it good or bad to do this?
Well, as I’m writing this article I’m figuring things out for myself. When are these terms commonly used in conversation and why?
I’ll try to be objective about this. To be objective we must describe things without inserting our opinions. Let’s see what conclusions I come up with and we’ll see how I feel then.
I’ll start with the 5 W’s – Who, what, when, where, why.
WHO: Who are these terms directed toward? Myself and others. Never to my kid of course. We should all know that when we say these things to children they can become self-fulfilling prophecies. You do know that, right?
WHAT: What is the purpose behind using these terms toward myself and others? To express a frustration and/or to make a point with something so outrageous and out of control such as a behavior that has become “disordered”. To take a shortcut instead of explaining what it is I feel or how I feel about someone. Perhaps at times to place blame? Maybe even to project on to others? Wait, the question was what. So what I should really be asking is what I’m saying. I often use ADD, MPD, and OCD. Okay, I’ve use “narcissistic” to describe someone I was mad at once. Shame on me.
WHEN: When are these terms used on myself and others? When I’m frustrated, when I want to make a point, when I’m catastrophizing, when I don’t have enough information, and when I don’t want to elaborate on my emotions.
WHERE: This is an odd one. I can’t really say where. I would say in private. I certainly don’t use the terms at work as that seems inappropriate in a work environment when there very well could be someone with a diagnosis. I don’t like to gossip either. I’m not a gossiper. Thank God. I know some gossipers. Some pathological gossipers. Is there a disorder for that? Googling as we speak…
WHY: Why? Ah! The big why question…which kind of sounds like the answers to my “what” question earlier when I should have been asking what is it that I saw from the beginning. Read the beginning and there’s your “why” answer. Adding more to that…I guess the answer to the “why” question is because it’s easy. The terms listed above describe behaviors in such a way that cause frustration like no others could. These behaviors we engage in are so extreme that they’ve become “disordered”. Wow, it very well sounds like it’s a form of catastrophization now doesn’t it? If you don’t know what that means. Let me introduce you to one of my favorite habits – catastrophizing. Yeah yeah I know. I’m working on not doing this. Journaling helps.
Conclusion
Is it bad to use these terms like these in ordinary conversation to express oneself? I would say it depends. In some cases it can take away some of the stigma if others can relate to some of the extremities that these disorders involve. I doubt there are any gatekeepers of these disorders; however, I do suspect that someone with real bipolar disorder, for example, might get bothered by a generalization of the disorder as simply one with extreme moods. There is certainly a lot more to having bipolar disorder than one day being in a good mood and another day being in a bad mood. I can only imagine a person with real bipolar disorder might roll their eyes at the absurdities of someone saying they’re bipolar because they were happy in the morning and moody in the afternoon. But there’s two sides of that coin, for it can make something serious seem less serious and therefore not taken as seriously when it should be. Another issue is the person with the disorder being completely misunderstood and simply seen as the label; stereotypes can lead to judgements and judgements limit understanding. For example, a person with the disorder might be seen as the disorder rather than as the person with the disorder.
There is so much more to these disorders than we really understand or care to understand when we use these terms in such a trivial fashion. A very common one I hear nowadays is OCD. Automatically if someone is very particular about their things and likes things a certain way…a “neat freak”…they are often termed OCD. Or one can say so about oneself, for example, “I’m so OCD about notes”. However, OCD can become very serious to the point in which a person can become suicidal. In fact, many of these personality disorders can lead to suicidal tendencies and comorbidities, meaning additional personality disorders that often build upon each other. For example, it’s not uncommon to have OCD and also ADD. One disorder can lead to another and the anguish that these psychological conditions can cause often lead to many difficulties in everyday life that are often misunderstood and underestimated by the general public. Of course another problem, or even danger, lies in us trying to label ourselves or others without seeking proper treatment.
So there can be a problem using these terms in a general and trivial fashion if we’re not careful. Generalizations of people with these disorders can lead to misunderstandings that can be hard to undo. Using these terms can limit how much we understand ourselves and others. When we reduce ourselves and someone to a label, we are selling ourselves and others short. While using these terms is okay to reduce tension and add humor, it’s a good idea to remain educated and exercise respect. It’s up to us to work on understanding what we’re really feeling and understand what others are going through; otherwise, we’re not growing or learning.
